When I started writing In My Feelings the one thing I really wanted to portray was a positive friendship between two black girls. I often hear black girls/women say they don’t have any girl/ women friends for various reasons but most times because they are untrustworthy. And because this I wanted to create two characters who friendship would be a combination for the friendships I have had the privilege of being a part throughout my life.
For me these friendships were important, they helped shape who I am as a woman today. I never really had girlfriends that I felt I couldn’t trust. That doesn’t mean we didn’t have our share of fallouts but it was never because of trust issues.
Layla and Millie are great examples of how girls should be with each other. They are ride or die. They love each other for who they are and don’t try to change one another. They speak the truth even when they don’t wanna hear it and they protect each other. Their bond is strong and unbreakable they way real best friends should be. Here are two examples of their bond.
Excerpts from In My Feelings
One afternoon after he dropped us off, I told Millie how I felt. We got to my house, and they spent fifteen minutes outside kissing in the car. I went inside and microwaved us some popcorn and poured us each a glass of fruit punch and added half a can of sprite. She came in floating.
“Do you want a sandwich?” I asked with an attitude.
“What’s with you?” she responded.
“I don’t know, Millie. I . . . I just don’t like him.”
“Why? He hasn’t done anything.”
“I know. It’s just . . . something’s not right with him, Mills.” I passed her the popcorn, then her glass.
“I know we haven’t spent as much time together since Roger and I started dating. Are you sure it’s not just because you are jealous that I have a guy now?” I reared my head back in shock. I couldn’t believe she said that.
“No, Millie. I’m not jealous. I just don’t trust him for some reason.”
“Well, I can assure you he’s fine, Lay. So don’t worry.”
I didn’t say anything after that. I was so pissed. I can’t believe she thinks I’m jealous! I let it go because I knew we would get into a fight if we discussed it again. And Millie and I never fought.
Afterward, I didn’t see her much. She was with Roger all the time. They were inseparable. I tried to talk to Nate about it, but he was too preoccupied with his own life. Since he was a basketball jock, the girls started flocking to him too. And he started dating. My feelings were so hurt. I felt like an outcast. I saw them at lunch, but I had to sit and listen to them talk about their dates while I had none. I smiled, even though I was pissed off at both of them; they never knew it. Eventually, I started skipping lunch and going to the drama room watching the drama students rehearse. I started dodging them and walking home alone.
Millie and Roger’s relationship started to heat up. He told her he loved her, and I don’t know if it was because her father had broken her heart or what, but she believed him. She let him talk her into having sex. Almost immediately after it happened, he started acting funny. He wasn’t answering her phone calls. Roger stopped coming to our lunch period, and he avoided her in the hallway. A couple of weeks later, he broke up with her. One of Nate’s teammates told him that the seniors had a bet going about how many freshmen they could bone, and Roger was a part of it. Nate confronted Roger and he admitted it. Nate got suspended for beating Roger’s ass.
They were talking about it in the hall right before lunch. I ran to find Millie. She was in the locker room bathroom crying, devastated.
“Mills, where you at?” I asked.
“Leave me alone, Lay,” she said.
“Okay.” I pretended to walk away.
“Please don’t go.”
“Girl, make up your mind.” I walked back toward the stalls. Millie came over and hugged me.
“I’m so ashamed about how I was treating you.” She snatched a few sheets of tissue off the roll and wiped her face.
“I’ll survive. This ain’t about me. Are you okay?”
“No, Lay. How could he do that?”
I hugged her while she cried.
“I just can’t believe he treated me like that.”
“I know, Mills. I am so sorry this happened to you.”
“He told me he loved me!” “I know . . .” I felt bad. I was ready to go whoop his ass again.
This scene shows how despite Millie acted a little funny with Layla because she had a new boyfriend, Layla put her feelings to the side to be there for her friend when she was hurt.
At school, all the girls were in a frenzy about the Sadie Hawkins Dance. It’s a dance in which the girls have to ask the guys out. The funny thing is, Sadie Hawkins is based off a 1934 comic strip character who was frantic to find herself a man. Her dad was worried she’d become an old maid so he organized a footrace for all the unmarried men. The loser would have to marry his daughter. Now that’s desperation. Nevertheless, it somehow became a yearly event. This role-reversal thing was agonizing. The thought of having to ask a boy out left me paralyzed with fear so I decided I wasn’t going. I knew Millie and Nate were going, so I was just gonna live vicariously through them.
“Who are you asking to the dance?” I asked Millie. We had just come in from school and plopped down on the couch. Earlier that day, Nate told us India asked him to the dance. She was a member of the Bitch Squad, so we automatically hated her.
“I was thinking of asking Tim,” she said.
I laughed. “What about Veronica?”
“I heard they broke up this week.”
“I dare you to call and ask him now.”
“He’s at Donte’s, and I don’t have Donte’s number.”
“How do you know?” I asked curiously.
“I overheard him telling BJ he was spending the weekend over there.”
We sat there for a minute, thinking.
“Let’s look him up in the phone book,” I suggested.
We giggled and ran into the kitchen to find the phone book. We looked up the last name Evans and found Donte’s number.
Millie dialed the number, and then put the phone on speaker. Donte answered, and I melted.
“Hello?” he said, sounding so sexy.
“Hey, Donte,” Millie said.
“’Sup? Who dis?”
“I was wondering if you knew where Tim was?” He paused, and we heard some guys talking in the background.
“Yeah, he’s right here.”
“Can I talk to him?”
Tim got on the phone. “Hey, Millie. Wassup?”
“I heard through the grapevine you and Veronica broke up this week.”
“I guess so.”
“Wanna go to the dance with me?”
“Yeah,” he said without hesitation.
“Where you at?” Tim asked.
“Oh, you’re at Layla’s house.”
“Tell her I said hello.” Donte said this so loud, I thought he was going to jump through the phone.
“Donte said what’s up,” Millie told me.
I silently screamed, jumping up and down.
“She said what’s up,” Millie said coolly.
“Who is she going to the dance with?” Tim asked.
“She hasn’t asked anyone yet,” Millie replied. “And since Donte is taken, I don’t think she is going.” She laughed.
I hit Millie on her arm so hard. “Why did you say that?” I whispered.
“Well, she should definitely come,” Donte said. He must’ve taken the phone from Tim.
I ran into the bathroom and screamed.
“Why, Donte? It’s not like she’s gonna get to dance with you?” Millie said.
“She won’t know unless she comes.”
I was smiling so hard I was about to die.
“We will see, Donte. All right, y’all. Talk to you guys later.” She hung up.
We screamed, “AAAAAAAHHHHAAAA!”
“Oh my God, Lay! He likes you!” Millie said.
“Yeah, but he’s full of shit. He knows we won’t be able to dance,” I replied.
“Well, you won’t know if you don’t go.”
“Millie, I can’t ask anyone out. Just the thought of it makes me sick.”
“Girl, it’s easier than it looks; guys aren’t that picky.”
Millie placed her hand on her hip. “Layla Raine Mitchell, I’m sick of you. I need you to break out of this shy shit you got going on. You are fine as hell and guys like you.”
“Yeah whatever. Then how come dudes ain’t on me like they be on you?”
“Cause you lack confidence, you don’t believe that you are the shit. That’s what they like the most.”
Layla has a die hard crush on Donte but facts are he has a girlfriend and she’s too shy to do anything about it. Millie lets Layla know confidence not looks is what she lacks to get his full attention. A bestfriend will always boost up your confidence and remind you of how awesome you are.
MY BEST FRIENDS
Well I know y’all looking like how is that I have 4 bestfriends. I couldn’t have gotten through life without these 4 ladies. These women came into my life in different stages of my life and proved to be my rock. Top left is my bestie from high school. I have known her since I was 14 years old. Funny thing is we didn’t even like each other in the beginning. LOL But once we became friends we were inseparable. Bottom left was my good wholesome friend (inside joke) I met at my first job in the corporate world. We weren’t cool enough to hang with the cool kids at work so we formed our own group. Man we were a mess. Proof that waiting until you’re an adult to be bad was fun lol. Top left my Lucy, I coudn’t stop being friends with her if I wanted to..she knows too much of my business. Lucy & Ethel because she was always conjuring up trouble and I was always trying to get us out. Finally, the wife aka baby sister of the group, who thinks Im so awesome. I tell her all the time, I’m really not that great. She came into my life and helped me survive these kids and that husband of mine lol. I hear so many girls and women being ok with not having friends but I have to say without these four I don’t know where I’d be.
Now this woman is in a catergory all by herself. My sister/cousin. Biologically she’s my cousin but we are way to close for that title, we are more like sisters. We been together longer than I can remember since we are 18 months apart. She was my protector, my bad influence, my cheerleader. I am her protector, her therapist, her cheerleader. You would never believe we were in our 40’s when you hear us laughing like two little girls.
This has to be one of my most important relationships thus far.
As everything starts to become more digital/virus, it seemed like our relationships with people were becoming less important until we were struck with Covid. Covid is forcing us to keep a social distance, which seems to make people appreciate the relationships they have with people.