Saying “no” used to be quite a challenge for me. I had always been the reliable, go-to person, the one everyone could lean on. Somehow, I associated saying “no” with being unkind or mean. Even when I did manage to say “no,” I’d often feel guilty and find ways to work things out so I could fulfill the requests made of me.
As I matured, I started to reflect on how this pattern affected me. I realized that when I said “yes” to something I didn’t genuinely want to do, I’d end up feeling irritated with myself and sometimes resentful toward the person who made the request. What’s more, when I needed help or a favor in return, I’d expect them to reciprocate and felt hurt if they said “no.”
It took me a while to grasp a fundamental truth: I had just as much right to say “no” as anyone else. I found myself saying “yes” out of a sense of obligation. I’d tell myself it’s my child, my mother, or my husband, so I “had” to do it. This, however, was a misconception. The reality is that we all have the right to say “no,” no matter who is making the request.
There’s immense power in uttering that simple two-letter word, “No.” It brings peace, self-care, and helps establish boundaries. It’s time we rid ourselves of the negative connotations often associated with saying “No” and recognize it as a profoundly positive word.
When we say “no,” we prioritize ourselves, allowing us to fill our own cup first. One of my favorite inspirational speakers, Iyanla Vanzant, wisely noted that we should fill our cup, and others should receive from the overflow. We are meant to be self-full.
And the best part? We don’t need to provide a reason. In my journey to become more comfortable with saying “no,” the guilt would sometimes creep in, leading me to provide explanations. But the truth is, “No” is a complete sentence all on its own; it doesn’t require further justification or explanation. It’s a powerful word that empowers us to make choices that align with our well-being and happiness.
In conclusion, “No” is a word that carries a great deal of positive potential. It’s a word that, when wielded with intention, can transform our lives. We are not obligated to stretch ourselves thin, saying “yes” out of a sense of duty or guilt. “No” is our ally in setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and maintaining our well-being.
As I’ve embraced the power of “No,” I’ve come to understand that it’s not a selfish act, but an act of self-preservation. It allows us to fill our own cups, ensuring that we have the resources, time, and energy to give to others from a place of abundance.
And, remember, “No” is a complete sentence. It stands strong on its own, requiring no further explanation or justification. Saying “No” is not about being unkind; it’s about respecting ourselves and our needs.
So, let us embrace the positivity of “No November” and recognize the strength it brings into our lives. Saying “No” is an act of self-love, an affirmation that our well-being matters. As we continue to practice saying “no” with confidence, we empower ourselves to live a life aligned with our true priorities and values.
Love, Sunshyne