Ask Sunshyne

Dear Sunshyne,

In your opinion who has the better position “the stay at home” mom or “the working mom”?

I have been on both sides of this spectrum. I stayed at home with my son, he was my first child. I was an at-home mother off and on until he was 12 years old. At first, I enjoyed it. I liked being at home to get my baby ready for school and being there when he came home. Helping him with his homework and making sure he and his dad had dinner every night. But after some years I started to feel like something was missing. My friends were in school or had finished school and had a career. I didn’t know what I wanted to do and jobs wouldn’t hire me with no real job experience. People in my inner circle were judging me left and right. And although I could have cared less I knew I wanted to more. I knew that it was important for my son to have my attention but I felt like the was more to me than just being a wife and mother.

On the flip side, by the time my daughter was school age I worked every day. I got a job as a school bus driver and I have to leave the house before she even gets out of bed. She is left in the hands of her daddy who works nights and is too tired to pay attention to details like I do. When I get home I’m tired so she doesn’t get the attention I was able to give my son, so homework is a constant battle. On top of that, I am also pursuing business ventures such as my body care business and being an author so that also takes my attention away from her. Sometimes I feel like a bad mother because I’m not balancing my time the way I should.

I think that there is really no “better” when it comes to either position. You have to do what’s in the best interest of your family. The great thing about being a school bus driver is I am usually off work during the same school breaks my daughter is and I have the flexibility I need in the summer for us to spend time together. Nowadays you can get work from home jobs that can allow you to do both or even start your own at home business to still be productive and keep up with your home life. Balance is key when you are working mother, sacrifice being tired and make time for your family. I know my oldest daughter is excellent at this. She spends time on the weekends meal prepping and organizing so her week can run smoothly. If you’re at home mom, hobbies can help you deal with your idle time between naps or if you have school-age children. You don’t always have to play catch up when it comes to things that need to be done around the house. Make time for yourself and your needs a couple of those days out of the week. Household chores can wait.

I hope that helps.