Relationship Goals

A few weeks ago, I celebrated the 25th anniversary of the day I met my husband. That day marked the beginning of what I can only describe as a rollercoaster journey with my best friend and soul mate. Reflecting on this milestone, I shared a post on Facebook, which garnered many congratulations and some comments calling us a “relationship goal.” This sentiment, while flattering, left me feeling somewhat uneasy.

I want to clarify something: achieving the harmony we have today was not easy. Our path was strewn with arguments, misunderstandings, and hardships, some of which we brought upon ourselves. It’s a journey marked not just by love, but also by challenges, disagreements, and personal growth.

In the spirit of transparency, let me add another layer to this: I married a man with four children from previous relationships, three born within the same year, all older than my own kids. This dynamic isn’t typically what people envision when they think of “relationship goals,” is it?

What I’ve realized is that what works for one couple doesn’t necessarily work for another. The concept of “relationship goals” should be about finding someone who understands and loves you, someone who encourages and challenges you, and someone attentive to both your spoken and unspoken needs. It’s about a partnership that’s tailored to the individuals within it, not a one-size-fits-all ideal.

As I grow older, I see a world grappling with insecurity, clinging to hashtags like #relationshipgoals, #bodygoals, and #careergoals. We often seek external models for living because we are either unsure of ourselves or reluctant to carve our own paths. While aspiring to be like celebrity couples might seem glamorous, it overlooks the hard work and dedication required in any genuine relationship.

In conclusion, remember that the best relationship advice comes from understanding your unique journey with your partner, not from emulating others. Relationships, like everything in life worth having, require effort, commitment, and a willingness to grow together.


3 thoughts on “Relationship Goals”

  1. So true. Just so you know, while I was reading this, the words were going into my head in your voice. ?

  2. Dr. Anderson clearly has spent time with this particular generation. Instead of eye-rolling and telling them to stop whining, she has well researched, thoughtful and loving advice to help them actually have a chance at an authentic relationship. In a time that frankly myself and anyone older than I am can feel lost, I feel confident giving this to my kids and I am grateful she took the time to write this

  3. “I guess this explains why I’ve never had a relationship that lasted more than three months,” I said. “That’s right,” she said. “But don’t look so depressed. You will have many things in life: Lovers, and travel, and art. So what, you won’t have a husband.”

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