Woosah Wednesday is usually about relaxing, taking a break, and enjoying moments. But I want to take a different approach. It will still be enjoyed with a relaxing song but let’s dive deep into why we may need a break. I don’t know about y’all but I know this song has hit me deep since the first time I heard it. And although you may not understand exactly what she means, I believe we all have been here a time or two.
I tried to drink it away
I tried to put one in the air
I tried to dance it away
I tried to change it with my hair
I ran my credit card bill up
Thought a new dress make it better
I tried to work it away
But that just made me even sadder
I tried to keep myself busy
I ran around circles
Think I made myself dizzy
I slept it away, I sexed it away
I read it away
Those lyrics hit hard because I have tried to run from myself many times. Just like she said, drink it, smoke, it, change my hair, shop, work, sleep, sex, whatever I could do to ignore what the real problem was until I couldn’t anymore. Until I found myself crying for no reason, sad for no reason, and angry at the slightest thing. I got sick of myself and decided to face me. And wow what a ride. I found out what I am about to share with you guys. YOU CAN’T RUN FROM YOU. No matter how hard you try. You can change your outer appearance, such as weight loss surgery, a BBL, or a new body but you will always be you. You can move to a new city or country, but you’re taking you with you. No amount of change on the outside will help with who you are on the inside. And it’s work, Trust me, when you start saying all the stuff out loud that’s been hiding in ya big toe it can lead to a gut wrenching, ugly cry. Don’t be fearful, because as much as we don’t want to deal with the feelings, it releases us into a new beginning. It’s almost like God is saying “Ok now we can get to work.”
Story time….I remember a young lady I used to follow on youtube, she documented her entire weight loss journey on youtube. And after she had lost over 150 pounds she did a video crying. There were several reasons she cried but one of them was the damage she had done to her body. She couldn’t believe she allowed herself to gain the weight she had and her body would never reflect all the work she had put in without surgery. I was baffled, I couldn’t understand how she could focus on that small part of this tremendous accomplishment she had achieved. But now I realize that as she focus on healing her outer appearance, she hadn’t worked on the inside. She hadn’t dealt with the things that caused her weight gain. I know for me, I have a lot of childhood trauma that involves my weight. I working on understanding my relationship with food, because I believe it will help me concur the battle of the bulge for good.
YOU are the biggest project you will ever work on. It’s the most important job you will ever have. And YOU have to stop taking it for granted. Stop putting it off for another day, or thinking you can run away because you will always be there waiting. You can’t drink you away, or smoke you away or sex you away. You have to open up and deal with You. Trust me, YOU’RE WORTH IT!!!